Why Facebook Needs a "Delete All Friendship" Button on the New Timeline

I know, another blog post about facebook. I am trully apologetic to any of you that read my blog solely for it's travel content. If that is you feel free to ignore this post today.

I recently was changed to the new "Timeline" feature of facebook, which is irreversible by the way. Even though the format is weird and the new wall isn't user friendly, I could live with all that... It's the actual timeline part that's bugging me out. We've all had relationships on facebook whether it be boyfriend/girlfriend or BFF+BFF or Bromance/Brosef and for most of us, not all those relationships have survived the inception of facebook in 2004 until 2012. I mean that's eight years. A lot of us were college freshmen when we started using facebook and our BFF was the person we had astronomy with and our boyfriend was the guy who bought us beer. We have since made new friends, new boyfriends, new relationships that have triumphed our childhood ones. Relationships that are at the forefront of our present lives and have allowed us to close chapters of our past in a progressive, healthy way. Then came Facebook's Timeline

Now with the new timeline feature we are forced to relive wall posts of the past that none of us realized would be frozen in a facebook time dimension.  Even if we've since defriended this ex-boyfriend or ex-friend and detagged all their pictures, somehow these wall posts have been stored in some library and now are slapping us in the face with a rerun of our old selves.  After I accidentally was pulled into timeline, I could see every post my ex-boyfriend had ever put on my wall for the two years of our relationship. I had to spend an hour today detagging over 200 posts from my 2006-2008 boyfriend reading things like "i love u booboo", "dinner tonight?", "miss you", "you are the one for me"... I mean when I was 19 these things truly were heart-warming to me, and now they make me want to throw a stapler at my office computer. 

Publicly displaying break-ups since 2004

If I deleted you in 2008, why are you haunting my facebook wall? And on another more frustrating note, why do I have to detag these posts all individually? Why has facebook not come up with a feature that allows us to "Delete All" instead of having to find all things relating to the relationship which in my case includes: 217 wall posts, 321 pictures, 19 facebook chats, 85 messages, 25 likes, 92 comments, 8 location tags, and a relationship status (that pops up on all 717 friends minifeeds the moment you post "single" for the first time)?

I am honestly not one to hate on facebook. It's come along way since the blue wall and the one picture that used to compose a profile. But not all of us want a Timeline of our pasts following us along the internet. Some of us like to leave the past where it belongs and move on. And we don't appreciate facebook making it any harder or more complicated.