Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Things I Think I'll Be Too Old for at 25

I'm going to be 25 years old in about a month. Even though I feel like 25 sounds older than my internal age (which I gauge to be still around 21-22), I do realize there are some things that I'm starting to grow out of.
Here are some things that I think I'll be too old for on my birthday this year.

  1. Hard alcohol that comes out of a plastic bottle. Glass bottles are a definite mark of maturity. The more expensive looking the bottle=the more classy the lady.
  2. Doing laundry only once a month. I learned this lesson the other day when I waited 5 weeks to do laundry, stuck too much in the machine, and it overflowed. 
  3. Having drunk pictures tagged of myself on Facebook. The demographic of people viewing my Facebook has changed from people that want to party with me to people might want to employ me. Tag wisely.
  4. Calling men my age "boys". I'd say at 25, anatomically speaking, they are fully grown men, even if they don't act like it.
  5. Stuffed toys in the bed. Bye bye beanie babies. We had some good times.
  6. Forgoing the use of sunscreen. Burning leads to wrinkles. 
  7. Getting a belly-button piercing. I don't think I need to explain this one.
  8. Shopping in the Junior Department. I've officially grown out of a size extra large at Abercrombie junior.
  9. "Grinding" on the dance floor. There are some things you just shouldn't do in public as a grown up.  Rubbing up on strangers to the beat of "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love Again" is on that list.
  10. Wearing baggy sweatpants outside.This rule also applies to pajama pants.
  11. Not exercising. My metabolism is slowing down by the minute.
  12. Eating take out food more than two nights a week. I read somewhere that every adult should know how to cook five main dishes. Might be time to start grocery shopping...
  13. Showing up to a party without bringing something. Even a $3 bottle of Charles Shaw from Trader Joe's is an acceptable host gift. As you get older, the price of wine slowly increases. By 30, I'll bring a $20 bottle of wine. By 35, a $30-$40 bottle. By 45, Veuve Cliquot.
  14. Putting high school on my resume. Since I've both graduated from college and have had a job, I think my employers are apt enough to assume I've had some sort of rudimentary education. 
  15. Bean Bag Chairs. Unless I'm reliving Woodstock in the back of a VW van.
  16. Not having drinks to offer guests. See above rules: grocery shopping and buying classy liquor.
  17. Crying in public. Unless I get fired. In which case, I will weep where ever I feel like it.
  18. Sleeping on a floor. I already think I'm too old for this. 
  19. Pictures without frames. I think it might be time to stop scotch-taping things to the walls upgrade to a plastic frame from Target.
  20. Eating Ramen Noodles. The signature meal of college-hood. I think the cutting-ribbon moment of my childhood to adult-life was graduating from Ramen to Progressso soup.

1 comment:

  1. 21. Not getting flu shots. Beyond 25, the irrational notions that flu shots don't work or that nutritional or homeopathic nostrums are an effective alternative to flu shots or any science-based health care, for that matter, are just sooo new age. You'd rather do stuff proven to maintain your health.


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